Extra Cheese

The group stands in front of a massive unfinished sculpture formed of gold, silver, copper and platinum; it appears that coins have been melted in a smelter and poured over dozens of posing victims in an attempt to recreate a battle scene. Their (undead?) muffled screams and groans can still be heard from underneath the hardened and shaped precious metal.

"We destroy this," says Malachite.

"Check," says Agar, and makes a mark on a parchment before they proceed to the next piece of treasure. "That puts it in the same category as the psychic death performance art piece, the ghoulish bunny slippers made out of real undead bunny, and the animated rack of dissected person-skin that keeps changing shape." The Defenders of Daybreak are almost finished scouring the palace for all valuables; with more than they can carry strewn across three different rooms, there's little point in looting the city as well.

"Yes there is," says Stone Bear.

"No there's not." says Agar. "I'm worried about time. That force wall outside is definitely degrading, and every time we go outside the spectres gather around it like moths to a flame." He shudders. "In addition, the ghouls might mostly be gone, but there are a lot of other monsters and constructs out there."

Stone Bear frowns but reluctantly relents. "Are we headed back to the surface when we're done here?"

"Not yet," says Galthia. "At least, not yet for me. None of you have to come, but I have a score to settle with the mind flayers." He grits his teeth, and everyone nods in understanding.

"We'll do that first," agrees Malachite. "I need to report to my Commander, but they need to be taught a lesson."

"If you mean 'how to die,'" says Galthia, "then I wholeheartedly agree."

"A cheese?" asks Velendo.

"A cheese," answers Agar. "Radiating extremely strong conjuration and evocation magic. I tried to identify it and I sneezed in the middle of the spell."

Velendo raises an eyebrow and looks politely doubtful.

"I never flub spells," grouses Agar. "I think the cheese is responsible. It didn't want to be identified."

"Is it evil?" asks Mara.

"Is it undead?" asks Malachite.

"Better check," says Velendo automatically. Then he shakes himself like a wet dog. "I can't believe I'm saying that. We're not going to have an evil, undead cheese."

"Can't be too sure," points out Agar. "You never can tell about cheese."

Velendo gives him a look. "Are you saying that you know of other undead, evil cheeses?" His tone is skeptical.

Agar puffs on his pipe. "I'm just saying that you shouldn't take anything for granted. It could be a muenster."

"Not evil," says Mara. "But that pun was."

"Not undead, either," says Malachite.

"But it is magical," says Agar, "maybe the most magical thing here. We better take it with us."

"And please," Velendo looks pained. "No puns. And no one eat it."

"A cloud keel?" Priggle looks offended. "What's that?"

"It makes a boat sail through the air. You just have to attach it to the bottom of a ship, and you're all set. Until someone casts dispel magic on it, at least," Agar amends. The halfling suddenly looks thoughtful. "I wonder if we could attach it to our folding boat?"

Malachite grins. It's an unusual sight. "Agar, that's brilliant."

"No thank you, to the air OR boat." Priggle puts down a magical cloak that makes the wearer look like a peasant and walks over to poke the long wooden keel. "Anyways, it's not like we can get it out of here."

"I'm not too sure of that," says Velendo. "It may fit in the Flickering Needle if we clear out the furniture. That instant fortress has come in handy. Did you know it originally belonged to a cult of Imbindarla, and they were breeding mindflayer spawn in the bathtubs when we seized it?"

"Remind me not to bathe in it then," says Galthia with distaste.

Velendo smiles. "It's been cleaned since. Thoroughly. They had TomTom staked down in one of the pools for hours, trying to turn him in to one of them. I think he did most of the scrubbing himself."

"Can we fit the crystal bell in it, too?" asks Malachite.

"Or the collection of dead illithid skulls?" Galthia may or may not be smiling.

"Those aren't coming, are they?"

"No, they aren't on the list. We'll probably need the room for the tub of mercury that we can use as a scrying device and the alabaster statue of some giant god."

"And for my books," pipes up Agar. "Eve showed me another library. Lots of books."

They don't bother to split up treasure worth many hundreds of thousands of gold pieces. Instead, they simply load it pell-mell into tower and ship and interdimensional satchels and vow to identify and divide it later. Eventually they find themselves standing at the front door of the palace.

"I can't help but think I'm forgetting something important," worries Velendo. He looks at Eve, but the girl just shakes her head.

"The dragon's dead," says Malachite. "We have Nolin's remains. And we're leaving by the tunnels so we don't have to go past the spectres. Everyone ready?"

Eve takes a big breath. "I've never been out of the city before," she hazards. "Are you sure you want me to join you?" She gazes at Malachite, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Absolutely," says Velendo. "You can't stay here, and we'll gladly help you learn about the real world. It'll be nice to have you." He glances over at Stone Bear and stops cold. "Stone Bear," he says calmly and with perfect equanimity, "why is there a monkey dressed like Nolin sitting on your shoulder?"

"I miss the real one. This is little Nolly. He's my friend."

"Your friend? You became friends with a poisonous monkey dressed like one of our companions?" His voice starts to rise very slightly.

"Yup." Stone Bear nods.

"I can control it, Mr. Velendo," says Eve. She wiggles her hand and the monkey does a corresponding little dance. "It should be okay."

"All right," says Velendo doubtfully. "I suppose you know what you're doing."

"Like when you had a giant soul-devouring worm inside of you," Galthia says with a neutral face. Stone Bear turns his empty eye sockets towards the monk, but Galthia makes a show of studying some nearby piece of architecture.

"Actually, Elder has left me now," says Stone Bear. "I feel empty. I bear his scars."

"Can you find a new spirit?" asks Mara in concern.

"It'll just take time."

"Well, let us know if we can help. Let's go have a talk with some mindflayers. Tonight we'll sleep in the site of the collapse, where Saint Morak appeared to us." Velendo caresses his holy shield before casting wind walk, and the group discorporates. They pause in the light of Aeos for a brief prayer, and then roar towards the eastern exit of the vast cavern. "Thank goodness we're done here," says Velendo as they split out the buckled vault door and into the tunnels beyond. "I hate this place." They speed into the darkness, once and for all leaving behind a deserted Nacreous.

Behind them in the ruins of Imbindarla's temple, no one is left to hear the steady drip of blood as it drips slowly... so slowly... from the tip of a sword, still grasped by Halcyon's spiked and severed arm.